Comparison? Or Kick in the Arse?

"There is always something to suggest that you'll never be who you wanted to be.  Your choice is to take it, or keep on moving."  - Phylicia Rashad

Ahhhh, yes.

Anyone else feeling this? 

Happy February y'all. 

It's the beginning of a new month! And for me, it's like a mini new slate.  And yes, I use that new slate for a new week, a new day, a new hour, and a new hot minute when it's needed.  

January is over and we are starting to thaw out - Figuratively and Literally.

Some of us actually followed through with the plans that we laid out for ourselves.  I have a few friends who did the whole 30. (Seriously.  Such discipline.) Others had success doing the working out thing all month, and another friend of mine is doing her 10 phone calls a day to drum up more real estate business. 

And I've done my own version.  Some I've succeeded. (Launching my "Coaching with Melissa" mini course) and others have fallen a little short. (Locking in podcast sponsorships. If you know anyone who needs a sponsor! LMK!)

And although there is some steady growth going in the right direction, let's face it, it's never as fast as one would like. 




So yesterday, after a very productive day, and great night of teaching despite the impromptu blizzard, I snuggled in at the end of the day and pick up my phone. And started the scroll. 

And I there I went. 

A place that can sometimes take you where you weren't expecting.  A place where, when you finally leave, you can feel lazy, lousy, and lower then low. 

Oh Social. How I LOVE slash HATE you! 

Rather then seeing the Great and Amazing things my "friends" were doing, I only saw, "Why aren't you doing that Melissa?" "You should be getting speaking gigs." "You have no following, what makes you think you can make a difference?" "Look! Her 15 year daughter gives her mama hugs." 


Usually I can pull myself together and keep it all in perspective. 

It's their highlight real!

And rightfully so! 

Honestly, we want share our exciting and great things in life and I quite frankly, I want to hear about you and all your awesomeness. I want to give you a shout out!  I want to love and encourage my friends doing totally amazing things! 

And let's face it,  I'm totally guilty of playing up my highlight reel. I own it.   

However, last night seeing all the successes of others paralyzed me.  It made me second guess everything I do. Everything. To the point of grabbing my journal by my nightstand and re-looking at the "plan" for 2019.  Maybe I should just give up on that crazy ass goal.  Yea... maybe.

Oh man. 

These past couple years I've really had my head down in my business.  Literally.  I love what I do, so it's easy to spend a lot of time working. And then the other big part of my life are my kids.  So I really don't take a lot of time looking at the competition. Why?

A few reasons. 

  1. I've been doing this for awhile and
  2. I genuinely believe there is enough to go around, and
  3. We all have our own unique gifts to share with the world. 

So when I went for a walk this past fall, and my friend told me about a new Dance Fitness class in town, I didn't think much of it. Honestly. I actually knew the person. She even took class from me a couple times. Now she was starting her own thing.  Good for her. 

I followed my three principles. 

'Cept for last night. 

For some reason, it really hit me.  Maybe it's the fact that I was tired, or the moon, or that I knew everyone in the picture. 


So this morning, when I woke up I had no idea what I was going to write about today.  I really struggled with what I could provide that would have value, to allow you to take precious time out of your day to read.

But then I remembered what I read from Twyla Tharp's Creative Habit.  A wonderful gift I received years ago from a dear friend.  

“A lot of habitually creative people have preparation rituals linked to the setting in which they choose to start their day. By putting themselves into that environment, they start their creative day.

The composer Igor Stravinsky did the same thing every morning when he entered his studio to work: He sat at the piano and played a Bach fugue. Perhaps he needed the ritual to feel like a musician, or the playing somehow connected him to musical notes, his vocabulary. Perhaps he was honoring his hero, Bach, and seeking his blessing for the day. Perhaps it was nothing more than a simple method to get his fingers moving, his motor running, his mind thinking music. But repeating the routine each day in the studio induced some click that got him started.

In the end, there is no ideal condition for creativity. What works for one person is useless for another. The only criterion is this: Make it easy on yourself. Find a working environment where the prospect of wrestling with your muse doesn't scare you, doesn't shut you down. It should make you want to be there, and once you find it, stick with it. To get the creative habit, you need a working environment that's habit-forming. All preferred working states, no matter how eccentric, have one thing in common: When you enter into them, they compel you to get started.” 
― Twyla Tharp, The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life

So I got up at 5a. like I always do. 

Got my coffee like I always do.

And went into my office filled with inspirational dancer photos and cool colors, opened my laptop like I do every day. 

And I started. 


And here we are. 

So as Ms. Phylicia says, "There is always something to suggest that you'll never be who you wanted to be.  Your choice is to take it, or keep on moving."

I choose to keep on keeping on y'all.  And you must too! Throw some gas on that flame of desire you have!  The choice is up to YOU to make it happen!

Let's make February unforgettable! (and a little warmer!)








PS.  My other inspiration for this post; Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. - Galations 6:9






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